Total Turtle Tea Trolley

It is a hot May day in the metmow, with warm breezes blowing in from off the plains of Tum, and the Total Turtle Tea Trolley is preparing to venture out to bring tea and treats to deserving creatures. The Tea Turtles are well-prepared for hot weather, even for the dog days of August. Alpheus, the First Tea Turtle, has fitted out each of his colleagues with “camel-back” shell-top water pouches which have been left in the freezer overnight, so that each Tea Turtle is assured a supply of cold water from his pouch’s siphon. Without these cooling packs, the Turtles would become torpid and start to bask in the sunlight, possibly neglecting their mission. But, as it is, the Tea Turtles are resolute. The Chief Tea Turtle is clad in a camouflage nylon mesh dust ruffle and accompanying tan wide-brimmed Tilley hat, while the Under-Tea Turtles are garbed in heather grey CoolMax dust ruffles, and brilliant white baseball caps adorn their turtley heads.

Today, they are visiting the Home for Retired Greyhounds, a tranquil place where greyhounds who have spent their lives in sport or service live in comfort and want for nothing. It is a large, white shingle style cottage with a wrap-around porch, and it is on this porch that the greyhounds are to be found, sipping lemonade, playing dominoes, and telling stories about their early days. In those days, they may have been beset by care, but they could bolt as suddenly as an updraft, then lope for miles, and return as quickly as they came. Even retired greyhounds need to run, and it is for this reason that a delegation of bunnies comes every afternoon, in order to be chased by the greyhounds. The bunnies take off like shots, but make sure that, even after a fair race, the greyhounds overtake them. In this case, however, the afternoon is too hot and sleepy for racing, and the greyhounds and the bunnies sit on the porch together, setting up domino cascades in intricate patterns and watching with fascination as the dominoes tumble.

At this point, the Trolley arrives, with tea and treats. Today, there is no samovar, no tea cozy, and no tea kettle. Instead, the Trolley has brought a chased sterling silver ewer of iced decaf English breakfast tea — the regular kind sets the greyhounds humming, and makes them liable to run off. The Tea Treats for today include lemon bars with powdered sugar, apricot-jam-dotted butter cookies, miniature pumpernickel toasts with sweet cream butter, and a tortellini salad with shredded basil and shaved Parmigiano Reggiano. And the Trolley has brought a special repository of Meyer lemon lemonade, mellow and not acidic.

The Under-Tea Turtles fill the greyhounds’ dog dishes with iced tea, making sure that each gets two or three ice cubes, and the greyhounds lap it up. The bunnies use the Trolley’s Limoges china, dotted with rosebuds and encircled by a luminous gold band. Then all set to work on the viands, and cap the afternoon with long guzzles of lemonade from blue Venetian highball glasses.

By this time, it has cooled down, and the grateful greyhounds ask if they can take the Tea Turtles on their backs and push the Trolley home. The Turtles agree, climb in reverse up several greyhounds’ long necks, and lock their stubby legs into position. The greyhounds put their thin shoulders against the Trolley, and it begins to roll. Slowly, the greyhounds pick up speed, and many others follow as a pack at the Trolley’s rear, leaping and bounding. The scenery begins to whiz past, and the Chief Tea Turtle must tell the greyhounds to slow down lest they crash the Trolley or go over a bump which will send the tea service flying off. But instead, the greyhounds break into a full run, and the Tea Turtles hang on for dear life, as they see trees and fields, streams and hollows flash by at an alarming rate. But before any harm can come to them, they are back at Tea Turtle headquarters, in the stony forecourt. The slightly shaken Tea Turtles descend, and the greyhounds lick their shells to calm them. When he has come to himself, the Chief Tea Turtle thanks the greyhounds, who are looking rather peaked themselves but quite pleased with their feat. And, slowly, with great dignity, the greyhounds go on their way, to return to their home before supper.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 19th, 2011 at 4:16 pm and is filed under tea trolley. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.