Total Turtle Tea Trolley

It has been a good Easter for the Total Turtle Tea Trolley. This morning, outside the door of the low-lying weathered brick building that serves as TTTT headquarters, there was an Easter basket, filled with real grass clippings, and topped with an assortment of chocolate buttercream eggs and homemade marshmallow chicks. In addition, the Fabergé chickens, resplendent in their colorful plumage, had contributed some beautiful turquoise Fabergé eggs with crystal inlay and champlevé enamel inserts, which they had been laying since erev Passover.

The Tea Turtles had intended to skip the 9:00 services at the Orthodox Theist meeting hall, as they were scheduled to provide the collation afterward, but members from the Paul Penguin Brass Quintet, who were playing the service, had encouraged them to come early and hear them rehearse. Paul Penguin was noodling around on the mighty Casavant organ, trying to figure out a decent improvised chorale prelude on “Heut’ triumphieret Gottes Sohn,” and the penguin-powered wind section was fanfaring around the melody. Leroy Penguin, a particularly glossy penguin, had his D trumpet out, and was trying to figure out whether to insert a trill at the penultimate note, and, if so, whether he could make it sufficiently wide and exuberant. Paul Penguin’s son, Paul Penguin, Jr., was assisting with the stops. He was toying with the idea of surreptitiously pulling out the stop for the 32′ prestant for the concluding hymn, thereby causing the seats to rattle. The Tea Turtles sat in the front pews, laughing to themselves at the antics of the musicians, before scuttling back to headquarters to prepare the food.

After the service, the Tea Turtles were not to be denied their own Easter treat, for they were going to brunch at the Hotel N. The Hotel N. is the oldest and tallest structure in the metmow, built sixty years ago, and is a grand old hotel in the Art Nouveau style. It has a number of remarkable features, including its tall ogive gold doors, sculptured with agricultural imagery and outlined in pink quartz, above whose apex is set a surprisingly large and brilliant pink diamond. The Tea Turtles were greeted by the majordomo, a tall and distinguished polar bear named Webster, and were conducted to the hotel Dining Room. There, they saw all the creatures from that morning, chatting in their booths and tables, and wandering up, one to the other, to wish each other a happy Easter. No creature was ignored, and all were in good company. Chef Bearnaise, a large brown bear, was at the omelet station, which was ringed with dishes of every possible ingredient that could conceivably go into an omelet, from smoked salmon and capers to pancetta and black olives. He had just finished flipping his fifteenth omelet in a row, and was now sipping a lemongrass iced tea; each of his omelets had turned out perfectly, neither runny nor burnt, each containing its ingredients in even proportion and distribution. To his left, there was the fruit and vegetable array, with huge cascades of pineapple and melon, down which ran a course of fresh strawberries which actually tasted like strawberries. To his right was a vast table of baked goods, turned out by Melba the Penguin, with fresh, dark, buttery croissants, true Danish pastries, French rolls, and, of course, trays of hot cross buns. The Butters Gallery had provided the butter for the occasion, with herbed butter, honey butter, sweet cream butter, and salted butter. And Custard LaRue, the singing otter, had prepared a table of napoleons, charlottes russe, and eclairs. All were serenaded by Keiko the Octopus, on a seven-foot-tall harp covered entirely in gold leaf, around whose strings she curled three or four of her pink tentacles.

The Tea Turtles scooted under the skirts of the omelet station and began to talk shop with Chef Bearnaise. They were not surprised, but quite pleased, with how the brunch looked, and they complimented him on everything turning out so well. He mentioned that he was going to go on vacation for a week, but that, as was the custom, he would be temporarily replaced by one of his counterparts from around the world — Chef Lyonnaise, Chef Hollandaise, Chef Bordelaise, Chef Polonaise, and so forth. The Chief Tea Turtle promised that the Tea Turtles would do what they could to fill in any gaps in coverage, but Chef Bearnaise merely smiled and slipped Sedgwick, the littlest Tea Turtle, a small piece of pepperoni. And with that, the Total Turtle Tea Trolley proceeded to a table, and commenced their brunch.

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 24th, 2011 at 7:20 pm and is filed under tea trolley. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.